Death of a Pet

There is literally nothing harder than the death of a pet–aside from the death of a child. I don’t know why it is so much harder than other deaths. At least that is my opinion. I get so attached to animals–so much more than humans–and I don’t know why. Probably because humans are vapid, heartless, abusive asshats.  But again–thats just my opinion.

We had to put my moms’ dog down this week. It was so hard. It was time, he had some health problems and he was getting ornery. He had his third bite issue last week and three strikes your out here in my state when it comes to animals biting humans…even if the bite cannot be proven. Which it couldn’t.  But because of his past and because of the assholes dog he decided to fight with, my mom made the decision to put him down. It was soooo fucking hard. She was a wreck, I was a wreck, Nykee (that’s the dog) was terrified and confused, Choney was a wreck. It was horrible.

This dog was my moms entire reason for living. So with his death, we get another worry on our plate: will she manage to not kill herself.  Joy. She has severe depression and her dogs are literally her only reason for living… especially Nykee. Her other dog, Flex, will hopefully pull her through it, but he is struggling as well. Poor baby. He doesn’t know where his brother went and why he didn’t come back with his mom….  he whines at the door, sleeps in his kennel, cries all day, doesn’t eat, etc. He is in mourning. He will eventually be okay–probably sooner than the rest of us–but it is sad as hell to watch him be so confused and uncertain.

I love this dog. I have always loved this dog but I didn’t think his death would affect me so harshly. I cried for hours, and hours, and hours. Then I slept and woke up and cried some more. My eyes swelled shut, my head clogged up and it still makes me cry when I think about it or have to tell someone about it.  I cannot even IMAGINE what I will go through when I put my own babies down. I think I shall just go down with them. i don’t have enough strength to get through it….

Anyway–send prayers/healing thoughts/good vibes my way so I can pass them on to my madre…

RIP: Nykee– enjoy playing with your ball for the rest of your life. Bite who you want. Run pain free all the days!