So what do you do when you meet someone new (that’s kind of like a rap right there) and you are kind of into them, but you have the horrible task of having to tell them you have some uhhh……….issues. Mental or otherwise. And how the hell do you even approach something like this…???
This is a new one for me. I will tell you it terrifies me. I have been talking to a new guy for a few days now…and I was kind of evasive about my blogging and whatnot, but finally decided to just jump in with both feet and direct him to my deepest darkest secret blog world… which may or may not have given me a slight anxiety attack.
BUT, I figured this—–if he reads all my innermost thoughts, and he runs for the hills screaming, wondering why him..then it’s probably a good thing he is gone, right??? Right. Because I don’t need, can’t have, will not deal with someone in my life who cannot accept and/or support my journey. Though I would never expect them to jump right in right away before they even know if they like me…
However, if they do read all my brain vomit and still stick around to see if things work out into something, this is good. I think. No, it is good. I will not doubt that. Shut your face, brain. Stop doubting me. Geez. I got this.
Where the problem lies is trying to explain to someone new how exactly my emotional roller coaster is fueled. I mean, I can totally keep it together in public, and even in private………..until they inspire some sort of feeling. Then I am screwed. Because I cannot control the triggers that caring for someone brings……….especially when I am not on good medication. Bad. Bad. Bad.
So my conundrum is this………do I tell them upfront or let them figure it out on their own as they go along?? Oooooh forget it, I just answered my own question.
I will tell them up front and hope for the best. That’s the right thing to do. And I have to do the right thing. We know what happens when I don’t. Yikes!
After all, I have more to gain than I have to lose……