Girl Brain Alert!

I ask you, as the person I am dating, in casual conversation, how old you were when you lost your virginity and the answer is a vague, ” I don’t know, maybe around 16 or so.” Ok….. I then ask, ” ok well where did you lose your virginity?”. The answer is “I don’t remember.” Hmmmm. Really? Then I ask, “were you drunk? Do you know who you lost it to?” And the answer is, “I don’t know, why does it matter?

Ummmm really????

First off, we are dating, so I’m fucking curious about your life. It’s not like it happened when we were together so I’m not fucking accusing you of anything. So why is this such a big issue to NOT FUCKING ANSWER?????

So is it just me, or is the next thought that goes through your head……..”ummm ok then, what else are you not telling me or being honest about?”

Because, and this is just my opinion here, losing the V-card is usually kind of a big fucking deal in one’s life. Or even if it isn’t, seriously, who doesn’t remember it??? And I was just curious about it/you. Sheesh.

So now I’m kind of freaking out!

Exception: if it was a traumatic experience, I understand you wouldn’t want to discuss it. Fair enough, but have some decency to say, hey, it’s not something I’m ok talking about. Yes, I’ll be curious, but I’ll shut up and not push you about it.

Feedback people! I NEED feedback here. I need to know if I’m just an idiot blowing this out of proportion (which is 99% of the time) or if I need to ask some more serious questions…..to myself.

DISCLAIMER: I am on the girl brain train. (not having fun by the way! Which sucks cause I love trains) But I had enough sense to shut up right then and not make it worse. Hence me being all growed up and asking for help here……….

So pleeeeeeaaaasssseeeee help!

DISCLAIMER NÚMERO TWO: having slept, I now realize, even without the great feedback, that sometimes I’m a fucking idiot, but also that to some, this is a private matter to them regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. I realize I’m a ridiculously open book, unlike most people, and I shouldn’t expect everyone to just vomit their lives into me like I do them. Seriously, girl brain gives me the dumb. Kill it. Kill it with fire! I have issues. Seriously!

Thanks for listening and for the feedback. See???? I’m learning!!! I asked instead of losing my mind on him. Good Ron!!!!

Even though I’m still an asshole, it’s nice to know I’m learning. Baby steps!!!!!

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14 thoughts on “Girl Brain Alert!

  1. Hmm quite a situation to be in.

    There are a few logical explanation for the answers that were given.

    1. Discomfort: Despite the fact that the two of you are dating, there is a slight discomfort when being approach with a straight forward question like that. Not sure which point during the conversation that was brought up, but a great deal of pacing during the conversation could be well mannered before leading up to that question.

    2. Pressured: This goes hand in hand with what I’ve mentioned previously. An obligation has probably been jolted, so an easier, or in better terms, “safer” way of being defensive by the use of ignorance with the hopes of a quick dismiss and/or change of subject.

    I hope that helped in anyway.

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  2. Those are logical. Agreed. However, I’d say we’ve been dating almost a month and we were just kicking back at my house watching TV. Straight-forward, yes. But it’s not a new concept to him. I tend to be rather blunt. Which up until now, he’s handled very well. So yeah……

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  3. Keep an eye on him and judge him on who he is now, and if you like him, how he treats you.
    You can always revisit the topic later.
    And if it does really bother you, maybe let him know that before it festers?

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  4. I distinctly remember every detail of the night I lost my virginity, although it was many, many, many years ago. There’s nothing to hide. BUT, it depends upon the person who is asking and, more important, why she’s asking. It might also depend upon how long you’ve been dating, how well you know each other, and how comfortable he feels revealing intimate details of his life to you.

    Maybe this guy was uncomfortable talking with you about it because he was afraid it might make you feel insecure or jealous. Or maybe he was embarrassed by the circumstances. Maybe he lost his virginity to his mother or sister or cousin, in which case, it’s perfectly understandable that he might not want to share those details.

    Maybe you should come right out and ask him about his reluctance to talk about it with you and reassure him that you are just curious and won’t let it come back to bite him in the ass if he opens up to you about it.

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    • I agree. And yes, I am realizing, after sleeping, it is a private matter to some. I guess since I’m such a ridiculously open book I expect others to be too. So dumb since I’m the rarity on that, not others.

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  5. Figure blowing it out of proportion. There are so many questions that need answering, but I always focus on what people are going to do rather than on the quality of their memory. Not sure that makes sense. I just don’t think the past is that important; it’s what you’re going to do, how you think about how you behave now, that matters. Just my opinion.

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  6. I would feel the exact same way. Some sorta cover-up, probably in an attempt to avoid judgment. But here’s the deal: I know these details about ALL of my close friends, male and female, and I would feel weird not knowing that about a boyfriend.
    I guess some people are deeply private. Those people probably wouldn’t ever be in my circle. *shrugs*

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  7. He might not be completely lying/avoiding the question.. Yes loosing your v is a big deal.. But that doesn’t mean you remember everything. How old was I? It was around the time of my birthday and I spent a lot of my teen years drunk so I’m not actually sure. He also could be avoiding the question because he’s frightened of scaring you off when you are early into a relationship. 16 is like an average age for it.. But what would your reaction have been if he had said 12 or 25 (assuming he’s 25 or older)? You might not have judged him but some people would and he might not feel he knows you well enough to know you would accept his answer. Ask him other personal questions that completely avoid the topic of sex. If he avoids answering a lot of them then maybe you have a problem, but if he’s open, then maybe you just touched on an awkward subject for him.

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  8. I would go with the first comment probably but keep an eye on it. Maybe he had a bad experience, older woman or paid for it? Who knows but guys often find it a lot harder to chat about stuff. Hang on in there though if he’s worth it give him some time x

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  9. No word of a lie I have no recollection of losing my v-card.
    I know WHO I cashed it in on, I know where – wait. I THINK I remember where. I know about how old I was…. Yup. The end. Having said that I think I am a GREAT partner πŸ™‚

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