I think it’s a conspiracy…..

I have decided that my daughter does not want me to sleep when she is home. The reasons behind this elude me. Perhaps she misses her mommy and wants to spend time with me? This is probably the case since she does hang out with me when I am awake and she is home, whether that is in my bedroom or the living room.

While I understand this reasoning, I DO NOT LIKE IT. I have just started working nights again and my sleep cycle is pretty much non-existent. I sleep when I can or when my body allows it. Unfortunately, lately that has been in mornings and in the evenings. In between this time (like 130-7pm), I kind of just sit around wishing I was sleeping.

My daughter however, is home during those times my body says sleep.  I am completely, thoroughly, sadly convinced she makes as much noise as humanly possible. On purpose. (My son agrees, FYI). She sings, she watches the TV with the volume at 9 million decibels, she bangs things around, etc, etc.  I am also damn sure she involves the dogs as well. My dogs rarely bark during the times she is not home. But they sure as hell bark when she is home.  I totally believe that she goes outside and provokes them. On purpose. Then laughs. I find this disturbing.

So because of this, I don’t sleep well. I am tired all night at work, and I am irritable because of it. I am a sleeper. It’s my favorite thing. I am damn good at it. So when I don’t get that, I am not a nice person to be around. EVERYTHING irritates me. What? You are breathing??!! Knock it the fuck off!  I will kill you!

Seriously. I am that crazy bitch when I don’t get enough sleep. I just need her to shhhhhhhh.  Eventually I will figure out this sleep thing and she can go back to her normal loudness. When I am awake. To tell her to shut the fuck up. 🙂

 

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Taxes….SO over it!

Ok, so I understand that taxes are a necessary evil in this world…….but here is what I do not understand. First off, one of the bonuses of having children is that you never have to pay out any taxes at the end of the year and you qualify for lots of random money for different things. Which is awesome!  HOWEVER–as I found out the hard way this year, once your kid turns 17, you no longer qualify for those random monies. Which I think is fucking ridiculous.

Number one, do you stop paying for and taking care of your kid once they turn 17????  Because if you do, fucking hook a sista up!!!! My youngest turned 17 in October, he is still in high school, he has no job, and he is not independently wealthy, so he still requires his mother to handle his business!! Which requires money. And because of this, I feel like I should still qualify for the random monies that are associated with dependents.

Am I being greedy? Probably. But who the fuck cares??!!  The government sucks ass, so why should I feel bad about taking their money. They sure as fuck take mine with no qualms.

So yeah, the fact that the government no longer considers my 17 year old my dependent–even though he is DEPENDENT on me— is just a bunch of fuckery and I absolutely don’t approve.

Bastages.

Introducing………..Muah!

“I’m unpredictable, I never know where I’m going until I get there, I’m so random, I’m always growing, learning, changing, I’m never the same person twice. But one thing you can be sure of about me; is I will always do exactly what I want to do.”
― C. JoyBell

So first off, thanks for reading. I appreciate it. This first blog is just kind of an introduction to me and the way I communicate via written word. I tend to be very sarcastic, so hopefully that will come across in my writing. One of the best ways to know if I am being sarcastic is if when you read something and it kind of offends you but not quite? That, my friends, is probably sarcasm. Or else I am just being a bitch. LOL. I tend to type like I speak, so I usually end up being grammatically challenged on paper. Or internet as it were. It will make more sense as you get more involved. Promise.

I am one of those people that just happen. You never know what is going to come out of my mouth at any given time. Even I am surprised sometimes! However, in my ever-growing maturity (bwahahaha), I do realize tact is a necessary evil and I do know how to control most of my thoughts before they come out. Let’s say, like 15% of the time if we are being honest here.

Anyway, I have three kids; two boys and a girl in the middle. You will definitely hear about them! I also have six (yes, you read that right) animals; two dogs, three cats and a fish named Bob. We are a crazy happy family–emphasis on the crazy!  You will also hear about them. Along with thousands of other random things I feel like putting out there. 

Sometimes I will be serious. Don’t panic. It won’t last. But when that happens, it usually means I just need some input on my thought process and/or frustration. You will know it when it happens. Don’t be afraid. Most of the times, I will be bitching…errr discussing the craziness that I encounter in my life, whether it is my crazy or others’ crazy.  It will be discussed. 

DISCLAIMER: Regardless of the topic, this is my blog. That means MY thoughts, MY opinions, and MY feelings. If you don’t like it or don’t agree, cool. But don’t be shitty. This is my world–if you don’t like it, leave!  Peace out for now!

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Douchebaggery at the Park

Soooo……….every morning when I get off work (I work nights for you slow folk), I take my dogs to the park by my house so they can run out some energy. Mind you, this is at 7am, so it is very rare that anyone is at the park at this time. Once in a blue moon, there is a random person. Today was that day. 

Backstory real quick: most people at the park with their dogs are really cool, except for that one asshat that makes the park going a miserable experience. I have an asshat at my park. He is an old man who walks his dog at the oddest hours. He keeps his dog on a leash and doesn’t allow him to socialize. His poor pup wears a pack and he carries this whip like thing, so if his dog gets out of line, he snaps it. He is a douchetard.

So this morning my dogs were running and running and asshat (this shall furthermore be his name) starts walking down the street toward the park. Since its like the ass crack o’dawn, and I had just gotten off work, I was in NO mood to deal with him. So I called my dogs to the car to leave. Mind you, the last time I had to deal with this dick, I only had one dog with me, so he would just yell at my dog–GIT GIT GIT GIT. Ummm, don’t be yelling at my dog you country fuck. 

Today, he noticed I had two dogs. And I don’t leash my dogs at the park when nobody is there. Its pointless and they cannot run. So as I am trying to leave, he comes up and BLOCKS MY CAR!!!  Are you kidding me?

So I rolled down my window (mind you, my dogs were barking like crazy) and asked him to move. He comes up to my window and proceeds to lecture me about how it is illegal to keep my dogs off a leash at the park. Its illegal to not leash my dogs in public period, blah, blah, blah,illegal, blah, disrespectful, blah, inconsiderate, blah. He even told me I was an irresponsible dog owner because now I had two dogs off leash. WTF?? At this point, I had not said anything because I was hearing him on one side and loud ass dogs barking on the other. 

My breaking point came when he told my dogs (who were in my car) to shut up. OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!!  So I rolled up my window, got out of my car and proceeded to tell him what a fucktard I thought he was and that it really wasn’t his business or concern if he was not at the park when I was and if I want to let my dogs run at the park that is my business, and if it is really that fucking serious to you sir, you need to call someone who really gives a shit.  Oh and by the way, if you ever yell at my dogs again, I won’t be responsible for what happens at that point. (mind you, I am a huge pussy and my bark is bigger than my bite—but shhhhh).

So then I turned around and got in my car and left. 

Like do you really have nothing better to do with your life than worry about what other people are doing?? When you are not there???  Idiot.  And I know the dude is a dick. I don’t want to deal with him, so I was totally leaving with my dogs before he even got to the park. I was being respectful. Hahaha…won’t be doing that again where he is concerned. 

Just mind your biz old man…..don’t make me steal your dog and let him run free with mine. I’ll do it!!!

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